Staying Human
by Forks4Lovers
Summary: Isle Esme/Dartmouth in EPOV. Bella convinces Edward that they should go to Dartmouth...with Bella still in human form. The story starts with Isle Esme. I do not own these characters. Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
1. Trying

* My Playlist while writing this:

**Snow Patrol** - _If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It , Crack the Shutters, Lifeboats, Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking, Ways and Means, Make This Go On Forever _

**Sia **- _Breathe Me_

**Iron and Wine** - _Naked As We Came, Flightless Bird American Mouth, Lovesong of the Buzzard, Sunset Soon Forgotten, The Trapeze Swinger_

**Safetysuit **- _Find A Way, Stay_

**Twilight Soundtrack**..of course ;) *

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I stood still in the warm ocean waters, breathing deeply, taking in every scent, every feeling, every taste. I listened with my eyes closed to every sound that encompassed me. I could feel the full moon beaming down on me from above. My palms carefully traced each ripple in the ocean's surface. The water felt so warm against my cold hard body. It moved around me, creating small waves that rolled softly onto the shore behind me with barely a whisper. The only sounds I could hear were my own deep, steady breaths, the waves on the shore, the light breeze that ran through the palm trees and Bella's heartbeat and quick breaths from inside the house.

'_Bella…'_ I sighed into the island air.

I grinned widely as her face came into my mind. I focused on her face. Her beautiful pale alabaster skin that blushed so easily under my fingertips. Her bottom lip that pouted out when she was being stubborn. That same bottom lip that pouted out when she was frustrated or confused. That bottom lip alone drove my thoughts and body crazy. She had absolutely no idea what she did to me physically. She knew exactly what her blood did to me. She knew that I had that lust somewhat under control. I was having a harder time trying to resist the urge to suck on that soft bottom lip. Her body was more alluring to me than her blood. Her blood would always taunt and tempt me. But with time, that lust faded slightly, letting this new incredibly forceful lust blur my vision. Every move, every word, everything she did was done so innocently and every reaction I had to that innocence was far from innocent. My reactions were dangerously sinful.

Dangerous was putting it lightly. In reality, if I didn't control every thought and every move of mine, I could crush her to death with a tiny flick of my finger. She was so fragile and I was so strong. Yet she was so brave, and I was such a coward. She put herself in mortal danger every second she was near me. She knew this, yet still touched me, kissed me, loved me. She was amazing. Amazingly beautiful and amazingly confusing. I would never understand her actions or her thoughts. But everything she did, she did so selflessly. It made me love her even more. It made me push her away and pull her closer at the same time, afraid to hurt her and afraid to lose her.

My breathing grew quicker as my thoughts became deeper and more troubling. Could I control myself, my strength? More importantly, could I control my animal instincts? Those instincts were the ones I was most worried about tonight. On any normal occasion, I could pace myself, control my breathing, and swallow back the venom that pooled in my mouth. I loved to breathe her scent in, but at the same time it scorched my throat like I was swallowing flames. I doubted my self control under these circumstances. I promised her we would try. As fragile as she was physically, by not trying tonight, by not fulfilling my promise to her, I could so easily break her emotionally as well. So breakable. Humans.

As my thoughts started to unravel any confidence I had, I heard tiny little footsteps shuffle across the fine beach sand. I kept my back towards her and eyes closed as I breathed her scent in greedily. Her scent, sweet, warm, inviting, soothing…painful. She slowed to a stop, her breathing and heart still quick and in sync.

'_Don't be a coward'_ she whispered under her breath.

A smile played on my lips as I chuckled to myself. If she only knew how much we were alike in this thought.

I began to tremble as she made her way slowly into the water. Her warmth radiated out from her body as she approached my still form. Her heartbeat and breathing steadied to a normal, calming pace. My heart, if it weren't dead and lifeless inside my cold chest, would be pounding. As nervous as I was about this experiment, it took every ounce of self control to keep myself from taking her right here, right now in the ocean.

She slowed to a stop beside me, laying her hand lightly on top of mine that rested on the water's surface. Just her touch made me tremble even more_. 'Don't be a coward'_ I repeated in my mind. I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the scene above me. The full moon, not a cloud in the sky, the silence, the stillness. The only sound that mattered now was the sound of her heart. It resounded in my mind. It pulsed through her hand and in turn throughout my body. She made me feel alive, like my own heart was pumping again. How I wish that was true.

'_Beautiful…' _she whispered upwards towards the moon.

I tuned towards her, taking both of our hands and intertwining our fingers together underneath the water, rubbing circles on her palms with my thumbs.

'_This?'_ I jerked my head towards the moon. _'It's okay.'_

I freed my right hand and cupped her blushing cheek, tracing it with my thumb.

'_This, Bella, is beautiful.' _ I burned my gaze into hers.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she bit her bottom lip as her blush got even deeper. She had absolutely no idea how amazingly beautiful she was.

'_Close your eyes.'_ I asked of her.

All too willingly, she did, while I gently ran my cool fingertips over every inch of her face, her skin feeling like fire underneath my touch. Her breathing became quicker and her chest heaved up and down as my fingertips trailed down her neck and over her shoulders. I ran them down her back and wrapped them in her wet curls that lay on her bare back. I hadn't noticed before, but this was the first time we were together completely naked. I had been so mesmerized by just her face, her eyes and her lips, that I failed to notice that just a few inches separated our bodies from one another. My breaths came just as quick as hers now.

'_Bella, open your eyes.'_

The moonlight illuminated every inch of her. Her pale skin was just as white as mine underneath its light. The only difference was the blush that now covered her body in whole. At that same moment, we both looked each other over for the first time. My eyes took in every new inch of her. She shifted her weight nervously as I looked her over much longer than necessary. When I finally met her gaze, her eyes burned into mine with a new fire. My eyes met hers with that same fire.

I closed the distance between us in one careful step. When our naked bodies touched, Bella bit her bottom lip. I kept my eyes on hers, pinning back a low growl that tried to escape my chest. I held my breath and wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her up so that her feet stood on top of mine on the oceans floor. She chuckled and we both smiled at this familiar position.

'_Remember our first dance?' _

'_I wouldn't call that a dance. I was a prisoner, Edward. If you remember, I was tricked into that night. By more than one person if I recall.'_ she scowled. Of course she would remember Alice's participation in that night.

'_Just admit that you enjoyed that night, Bella. After all this time, you still deny it. Get over it.'_ I teased. Her eyes narrowed and she pouted her bottom lip, preparing some sort of sarcastic comeback.

'_Stop that.' _

'_Stop what?'_ She blinked rapidly, her annoyance replaced with confusion.

I traced her bottom lip with my thumb lightly. Her hand ran up my arm slowly and joined mine on her face. She sighed and closed her eyes as I moved our intertwined fingers over her lips.

I drew my lips an inch away from hers.

'_That bottom lip is driving me crazy, Bella.' _I breathed into her parted lips.

Surprised by my proximity, her eyes darted open and her breathing stopped.

'_Breathe, Bella.' _I ordered.

She exhaled into my parted lips as I inhaled her sweet warm breath. My eyes flitted closed as I breathed her in. It set me on fire in every possible way.

She softly groaned as my body reacted to her breath. Her lips were on mine then, softly parting and moving gracefully with mine. Her hands ran up my neck and into my hair, pulling gently. A let out a low hiss and forced our kiss deeper, gripping her hips tightly against mine, swaying with the oceans current. Chest against chest, her heart pounded against my still heart. I ran my hands up her waist and slowly let my thumbs run over her breasts. Bella groaned loudly this time, pulling my hair harder and my face tighter to hers. I let my thumbs draw tiny circles along her breasts, feeling every inch of this new skin. She hitched her legs over my waist as she moved her lips to my neck. A threatening growl ripped through my chest, but she continued. This new position, the new friction, it felt too good. I could feel all of her against me and all I had to do was shift her weight up just a few inches. I buried my face in her hair and breathed her in. She continued at my neck but began shifting her hips rhythmically into mine. My eyes shot open and I gasped into her hair as she lowered her head and groaned into my shoulder. I held onto her tightly as she continued with her hips. I held on for my life, for her life. I fought off any reactions I had to move with her. She kept her head into my shoulder as her breaths came quicker and her shifting became faster. My teeth grit together as I fought for control.

I wanted to lose some form of control with Bella. I wanted to feel this with her. Her moans, her fingers digging into my back, her breaths quick in sync with her hips. I wanted to move with her. I wanted to feel the release with her. But, I was afraid that if I contributed even for a second, that I would be too careless. I could endure this feeling, her sounds of pleasure. I would have to endure it for her.

Her chest heaved up and down, her heart thudding noisily against my silent hollow chest. Her moans grew louder as she came closer. My breaths came quick as she began to tremble in my arms. Her breaths came in gasps now and she bit my shoulder as she shuddered at her release. She moaned loudly and I growled into the ocean air. She darted her head up and pulled my face to hers as her hips slowed their pace. Her lips fought with mine as her hands tangled in my hair. I loosened my grip for life on her as her hips slowed to a trembling stop. Her shaky breaths filled my mouth as our kiss became gentler. I pulled her face away from mine to let her breathe, rubbing her flushed cheeks with my thumbs.

'_Thank you, Edward.'_ She said when she finally regained her breath and steady heartbeat.

I kissed her lips softly as I untangled her legs from around my waist with a sigh. Before her feet could hit the oceans floor, I swung her around onto my back.

'_What are you doing?'_ she asked, confused and clinging to my back.

'_Going for a swim.'_ I grinned at her from over my shoulder. I pulled her arms tighter around my neck. _'Hold on tight.' _

And with Bella on my back, we both headed deeper into the dark ocean waters.


	2. Going For A Swim

We swam like kids, splashing each other relentlessly, play shoving each other under water, giggling uncontrollably. It was the most amazing time of my life. I laughed more than I'd ever laughed in my lonesome century-plus long life.

We must have swam for hours and she was obviously getting tired, yawning into my back while she clung to me lazily.

When we reached the shore, I laid us down on the beach to look at the impossibly clear night's sky. Her body curled into my side as she traced every line of my cool chest. The night's air was just as warm as she was, but with a slight breeze running over us, sending goose bumps up and down Bella's body.

'_Are you cold?'_ I asked, creating friction with my hand against her arm.

She pulled herself even closer. _'Not at all.'_

'_Tired?'_ I asked hopefully. Her naked body pressed against mine was driving me insane.

She leaned over my chest and began planting warm wet kisses over me. _'No, Edward.'_

I heard her roll her eyes. She had heard the hopefulness in my voice.

Her kisses became deeper on my chest; her hands gripped my waist as she pulled herself on top of me and moved her lips to mine. I gripped her hips tightly as she gently moved her lips and tongue along with mine.

'_It's getting late, Bella. You've had a long day. Maybe we should…'_ I murmured against her mouth.

'_Shut up, Edward.'_ She hushed me with her lips.

She straddled me on the fine shore sand as we softly kissed one another. I moved my hands from her waist and into her damp hair, wrapping them gently at the base of her neck, pulling her lips even closer. I moved my lips down her jaw and to her neck, sucking gently at her skin as her breaths became erratic.

'_Edward, I need you.'_ She moaned into my hair.

'_I'm here, Bella. You have me.'_ I murmured into her neck.

She shifted her hips into mine and I growled into her neck. _'No, I __**need**__ you. Please.'_

She sensed my hesitation. I had been stalling all night. Afraid to fulfill my promise. Afraid to kill her.

I met her hooded eyes and grabbed both sides of her face. _'I'm afraid. I feel like I'm going to hurt you.'_ And I gazed over her shoulder, to where very tiny finger bruises covered her back at where I clung for life earlier that night.

She followed my gaze and rolled her eyes. _'Please, Edward. I didn't even feel that.'_

'_That's what I'm afraid of. You weren't aware of __**anything**__.'_ I teased with a smirk, but with all honesty behind the teasing. She was so lost in her own body that she hadn't noticed the pain of my death grip on her.

'_You won't hurt me. I trust you.'_ She said with wet eyes, a lone tear falling down her cheek. She grabbed my hand and pressed it to her chest at where her heart beat. _'I love you with all of me.'_

I grabbed her hand and placed it where my heart lay. _'I love you, Bella. Forever.'_ I kissed the tear away as it ran down over her lips. Her breath hitched in her chest as my lips met hers and she attacked them with her own, our hands lying over each others hearts. I had to try. For her. For us.

With my free hand, not breaking our kiss, I rolled us so that I hovered over her, pressing gently against her beating heart. Her hands moved from my chest to my bag, slowly running them up and down, leaving tiny trails of fire with her fingertips. She parted her legs beneath me and I hitched one of her legs so that it rested behind the back of my knee. She moaned into my lips with this new friction.

Heat radiated out from her core. I shuddered as I met her warm wet opening, gently applying pressure. She bit my lower lip as I gently inched in. I didn't break my gaze with her wincing eyes. She let go of my lip and bit on her own.

'_I'm so sorry, Bella.'_ I soothed as she grimaced and gritted her teeth.

I stopped for just a moment and her eyes flicked open. _'I'm fine, Edward. Don't stop.'_

I inched in slowly, rubbing her cheek gently as I fought for every ounce of control as her warmth encompassed me. My eyes rolled back as I reached the back of her and a low hiss escaped my clenched teeth. Her body tensed and then relaxed infinitesimally in the same moment. I kept my eyes slammed shut as a moan of pleasure escaped her lips as I inched back out and in slowly.

I repeated this motion a dozen times, not wanting to hurt her, but keeping my eyes shut, focusing on anything but her sounds and how warm, how wet she was.

'_Edward, look at me.'_ She whispered.

When I met her heavily hooded eyes, she bit her bottom lip. Her breath came heavily as her chest heaved into mine.

'_I'm fine, you're fine.'_ She said, soothing the crease on my forehead with her fingers.

I wasn't just fine. This was beyond anything I'd ever imagined. I felt literally alive, like her fast beating heart was pushing blood through my own dead veins. She throbbed around me as I throbbed inside of her, sending low growls through each of our chests. My hands clenched fistfuls of sand beside her head. My hands must have been a foot into the shore as I had dug into it with each thrust.

She moved her lips to mine, willing me to continue, and I all too willingly did, increasing the friction and pace just a little. She hitched both legs now around my waist, deepening the thrusts and hitting new parts of her than before. Her hands pulled at my hair, each light pull gaining a low growl from me. Each harder and faster thrust gaining another low growl from her. My hands felt safe to move as I got used to the feeling. I moved my hands to the side of her breasts, slowly massaging them, making Bella's breaths come quicker. I let my thumbs run over the center of her breasts, applying pressure. The pressure sent Bella into louder moaning and made me thrust even deeper. She began to tremble beneath me; sending vibrations up and down my entire length, making me tremble in turn. Her face moved to my neck, burying her head there as she shook uncontrollably.

My hands couldn't control themselves anymore. I was applying too much pressure, I could sense it. I tore at the sand beneath me, sending sand flying all around us, showering on top of us. What more could I destroy to distract me? There was just sand around me and I was grinding each grain of sand into a finer powder, leaving nothing left for me to tear at. I slowed my pace and rolled her on top of me. She gasped at the new position. She didn't break the pace I had set before, now moving on her own against me. I gripped at her waist gently, but snapped my jaw repeatedly, biting the air above me. Her hands gripped my chest as she rocked back and forth, side to side. Her moans grew louder and she trembled above and around me. Her fingers dug into my chest. She dug them in so hard, that my skin would have broken beneath her nails if I weren't made of stone. She grew wetter and hotter, sending a flush over her entire body. My body started to shake uncontrollably and unbelievably intense feelings swelled through me. These new feelings scared me. My eyes widened and I bit down on my bottom lip hard. My hands gripped her entirely too tightly, but I couldn't move my hands. I was afraid to. Her hands fell to the sides of my shoulders as she shook on top of me, her bottom lip trembling as a low deep moan escaped her chest.

_'Edwarddd..'_ she purred.

I lost it. A deep threatening growl ripped through me as we both met our release together, shaking and trembling, holding onto each other for support. She slumped onto my chest as I continued to shake beneath her. Her lips met mine fiercely and I immediately pulled her face from mine, clamping my jaw down tight.

_'Wait.'_ I said through clenched teeth. And I held her face from mine, burning my eyes into hers until my body slumped back in turn and my muscles relaxed infinitesimally. I let my breath whoosh out of my lungs and into her face. I must have held my breath for an hour, because it blew Bella's hair back behind her shoulders. She eyed me questioningly; making sure it was safe to approach my lips with hers. Before she could move, I attacked hers with mine, rolling us onto our sides, running my hands gently down the length of her. She pulled me closer to her, hugging her body to mine. I moved her head to my chest as we exhaled heavily into the ocean air.

_'Thank you, Edward.'_ she whispered to me again.

_'You are amazing, Bella. Do you know that?' _I asked. She was incredible. We were perfect for each other now in every way. I knew our souls were made for each other, but never imagined that our bodies would move together like that. They molded together as one.

She laughed into my chest. _'I can finally agree with you on that, Edward. Yes, I am amazing.' _She said sarcastically. I rolled laughing and she looked at me like I was insane. And I absolutely was. I felt like a new man. I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt accepted in this world that had shunned me and made me miserable for so long. This is where I belonged. Forever.

_'Forever.' _I breathed into her hair, as she nuzzled closer into my chest.

_'I told you.' _She yawned.

I pulled her closer to me and chuckled softly into her sand filled hair.

I held her to me as I began her lullaby, humming her to sleep under Isle Esme's full moon.


	3. Our Home

_*Apparently I have no life, so this is yet another update within...let's see...a few hours. Ha. Enjoy.*_

Playlist for this chapter_ - _**Snow Patrol**_ (_album:_ A Hundred Million Suns) _

Yes...I am obsessed with Snow Patrol. _  
_

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While Bella slept, I replayed our amazing day over and over again in my mind. Everything turned out perfectly, how I had hoped. I always knew I wouldn't kill her. I always knew that I could control myself. I was always so hard on myself, so careful, so gentle, so protective…too protective. I always felt as if these fatherly tendencies of mine would push Bella away. And sometimes I wished they would, for her own sake. But as soon as I wished these things, I found myself selfishly pulling Bella closer to me and my sick life.

In the beginning of our relationship, only just a short time ago, all I remember is her blood. My memories of that time were usually clouded in a vision of red. But in those memories, the red would crack in and out like static. And with those cracks, all I saw were Bella's chocolate brown eyes. And in that rare but powerful vision, I remember feeling confused. My heart tugged at my chest, not as if it were beating, but as if someone had a steel wire attached to me and were tugging at it with all of their strength. And that someone was this tiny insignificant 17 year old girl. Pulling my stone body towards her, inch by inch, with a force that no being could break. With time, with hours upon hours of obvious sleepless nights, endless amounts of time to practice my restraint, that red vision that so dominated everything I was, slowly faded and was replaced by the vivid color of Bella's chocolate brown eyes.

I don't even remember lusting for her blood while we made love. I searched my memory, I searched through every smell, every taste, every touch, and found nothing. I grinned widely to myself at this revelation and pulled Bella's sleeping form closer to me. She shivered slightly against me. The night that was so warm earlier, had gotten chillier and breezier while Bella slept. I cradled her in my arms and lightly swept her from the cool beach shore and into the warm island home. Our home.

This house wasn't the most extravagant house I'd lived in and I hadn't cared for it much with past experiences. For me, it held no significance. My family had vacationed here before, swam in the warm waters, hunted new prey, enjoyed the time away from the cold. But, until now, it had never felt more than anything but a stop along the way. When I thought about it, no house, no city, no country that I had lived in ever felt like home. As I walked through the house with Bella in my arms, I finally felt at home for the first time in my life.

Instead of thinking, I drowned myself in Bella's sand filled hair while she slept. I wrapped my hands around her tiny warm waist and buried my face into her thick brown curls and just breathed her scent in. With my chest against her back, I matched each of her slow breaths with my own. I thought of similar smells that Bella's scent would relate to. Lavender, vanilla, lilac… beach sand. I grinned as the tiny particles of sand tickled my face.

I hadn't noticed, but the sun had risen and was now beating down on us through the wall length glass windows that faced the creamy white king sized bed we were curled upon. Bella yawned and intertwined her hands in mine around her waist.

'_Good morning, Mrs. Cullen.'_ I breathed into her hair.

'_I never thought I'd like the sound of that.' _She said groggily as she rolled to face me._ 'But, I think it's grown on me, Mr. Cullen. Just like you.' _

'_Finally, I've grown on you. Took long enough.'_ I teased as I took her lips in mine. She ran her hands through my hair, spilling sand over both of our faces. We laughed as I in turn shook her hair, sending sand flying through the bedroom.

'_I think you need a shower.'_ I chuckled, brushing the sand off of Bella's cheeks.

'_I think __**we**__ need a shower.'_ She corrected. She rolled off of the bed, stumbling sleepily across the room to the bathroom. Watching Bella clumsily make her way across the room naked, steadying herself on the dresser as she tripped over her own feet, was the funniest and sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

She flipped on the shower and peeked out behind the door frame while the shower warmed.

'_Are you coming?' _she asked innocently, looking as if she was afraid of my answer.

I smirked and in the blink of an eye, I was behind her, waiting for her in the shower.

'_Show off.'_ She scowled at me as I chuckled, holding the shower door open for her.

She stepped in and immediately wrapped herself in my arms as the warm water spilled over us. I ran my hands through her wet sandy hair, untangling as I went. She stared up at me as I ran my hands over her face, wiping the sand out of her eyebrows with my thumbs. I grabbed the shampoo bottle behind us and began to wash her hair, massaging and running my hands through her curls. Her eyes closed as I grabbed the shower head and ran the warm water over her face and through her clean hair, the sand falling from her body and pooling at our overlapping feet. I began to wash her body with my hands, gently running them over every inch of her. I pulled her closer to me, closer to the running water, rinsing her from head to toe.

'_My turn?'_ she asked, biting her lip, staring up at me hopefully.

I smirked and nodded as I handed her the shampoo bottle.

'_You're too tall. I can't reach.'_ She pouted and I laughed loudly in turn.

I raised her up slightly by her waist and let her feet rest on mine.

'_Again…too familiar.' _She grinned as she began to run her soft hands through my hair.

I sighed and my eyes rolled back as she massaged my scalp with her fingertips. She moved her hands to the back of my neck, then to my shoulders. Her hands felt so good on me. The warm water running over us, her even warmer hands tracing every inch of my body as she washed and massaged. As the sand fell off of me, I felt her wet lips on mine. She groaned into my mouth as I pulled her by the small of her back harder against me. I didn't even think, my body just reacted to hers and I enjoyed the departure from my mind. I grabbed her from behind and lifted her legs to wrap around my waist. She gasped at this quick movement and plunged her tongue into my mouth breathlessly. I spun us around under the running water and pushed her back gently against the shower wall, entering her gently. We both gasped and moaned into each other's mouths as I began to thrust into her. I was able to do all the work this time. I could feel my control, my hands were steady under her, lifting and lowering her onto me rhythmically. I pressed into her, her back slammed against the wet tile wall. The water got colder after time, but she stayed so warm. All I could feel was her warmth. It overwhelmed my every sense. My body pinned her to the shower wall as I allowed my hands to roam over her wet body. I ran a hand down to the source of warmth that pulsed against me and pressed my thumb firmly against it. She moaned loudly at the new pressure and arched her back off of the tile. I moved my lips to her chest, kissing and sucking my way across each breast, tasting every inch of this new skin. Every part of her tasted so amazingly different, and so amazingly wonderful. She began to throb around me and I in her as we both trembled at our release. I growled her name into her chest as the now cold water ran over our shaking bodies. She nuzzled her head into the hollow of my neck and murmured my name over and over again.

I moved us out from the cold running water and untangled her from me, immediately wrapping her in a giant warm towel, rubbing the towel over her, drying her soaking wet and goose bump covered body. She unwrapped the towel from around her and brought the towel around both of us.

'_Thank you, Edward.'_ She sighed into my chest.

'_You need to stop thanking me, Bella.'_ I ordered.

'_Why?'_ she looked up at me in confusion.

'_I should be thanking you.'_ I chuckled into her damp hair.

'_Well, you're welcome.'_ she said sarcastically, grinning against my chest.

Her stomach growled menacingly against mine and she looked up at me with a shocked expression.

'_Breakfast time for the human?' _I laughed at her expression, patting and rubbing her stomach with my cool dry hand.

'_Forgot I was human.'_ She sighed.


	4. Staying Human

Bella sat in her bath robe at the bar counter in our island kitchen, drumming her fingers impatiently as I cooked her up some eggs.

'_I thought vampires were supposed to be inhumanly fast?'_ she scowled in my direction.

'_Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?'_ I teased with my back to her.

She let out a huge sigh and before she could finish it, the eggs were in front of her.

'_Eat up, crabby.' _

Without any hesitation, she dug in. I leaned across the counter and watched her eat at a speed that shocked even me.

Minutes later, she leaned back in her seat and patted her stomach.

'_Mmmm…that's better. Thanks.' _

'_Sorry I was so unobservant. I keep forgetting you're human. And that you have quite an appetite.'_ I smirked and winked at her.

She scrunched up her face in concentration and leaned towards me to trace the circles underneath my eyes.

'_You look hungry too, Edward.'_

And I was. Desperately. I hadn't hunted since before the wedding. It had been over a week without a meal. My mind had been elsewhere…until she had mentioned it. My throat constricted and I swallowed reflexively, swallowing fire.

I shrugged nonchalantly. _'I'm fine. No worries. Besides, I have other things on my mind.' _I traced her lips with my fingertips.

She mimicked my position over the countertop, placing her elbows on the surface and her face in her hands, leaning towards me.

'_So I was thinking…'_ She breathed into my face.

'_Mhmm?'_ I closed my eyes and smiled as her breath blew across my face.

'_About Dartmouth…'_

My eyes darted open and met hers. _'Really?'_

'_Yeah. I figured another year being human wouldn't hurt. And why not spend that year failing out of college.' _

Another year being human? Are you kidding me? Was she _trying_ to get both of us killed? I loved the idea of us going to college together, but her staying human with us being like _this_, was incredibly dangerous and near impossible.

'_As much as I've wanted to hear those words, it is impossible, Bella. We would be living together, alone. Don't you see any danger in that? At all?' _

She shrugged lazily. _'You haven't hurt me.'_

'_Yet.' _I spat out.

The fact that she wasn't concerned at all about this frustrated me. It made me angry even.

'_Why now? After all of your stubbornness about changing, why turn the tables on me now? I was just starting to accept the fact that you are stubborn as hell and there was nothing I could do to change your mind.'_

She leaned in towards my face, running her lips across my jaw and to my ear.

'_I don't think I've had enough of this.'_ She whispered, nibbling on the edge of my ear.

I grabbed her face and lightly pushed it back, allowing our eyes to meet.

'_You are insane, Bella. The fact that I even allowed us to do something…something so…so…irresponsible…'_

'_Irresponsible?'_ She swiped away my hands from her face, backed away and crossed her arms in front of her chest. _'I can understand not wanting to defile me before marriage. But now that we're married, making love is still irresponsible? You are impossible!' _She spun off of her chair and marched into the living room, flopping herself down on the couch.

'_Maybe irresponsible was the wrong choice of word.' _I said, walking over towards the couch.

And it was. I had obviously hurt her feelings. I could see her quickly swipe under her eyes, trying to cover any evidence that she was crying.

'_I guess I'll just stop flinging myself at you. Maybe my innocence will grow back on its own, since you won't be touching me anytime soon.' _

I sat myself on the couch at a distance from her.

'_I'm sorry, Bella. I am just so scared of hurting you.' _I held up a finger to interrupt her argument towards that statement. _'I know I haven't hurt you. And why I say 'yet' is because we're new at this. I have the possibility of hurting you. Not just hurting you, but killing you.'_

She sat in silence, leaned up against the arm of the couch, arms still crossed in front of her chest. She stared down at her arms, never breaking her stare to make eye contact.

'_I thought this would make you happy. Me, staying human; us, going to college. I was actually getting excited about going. The more you shoved it at me, of course the more determined I was not to go, but spending time here with you, the idea grew on me.'_ She wiped yet another tear away from her cheek.

Of course I was about to give in. Why wouldn't I? She was excited to go and I wanted us to go so badly. It would only be a year before she _'failed'_ out. Of course, that wouldn't happen in a million years, but maybe after a year at Dartmouth, we could take a hiatus. Deal with what we had to deal with, and hopefully a few years later we could continue.

'_One year.'_ I stated flatly.

She darted her eyes up. _'Really!?' _

'_Yessss.'_ I sighed, but then smirked at her shocked expression.

She launched herself off of the couch arm clumsily and flung herself into my arms.

'_We have to go slower, Bella. Please be patient.' _

She began to back away from me hesitantly.

'_No, this is fine.' _I laughed as I pulled her back and held her to me.

She buried her head into my chest. _'One year. I promise. It might not even take a year. I'll probably screw up within the first few months anyways.'_

'_You are so absurd, Bella. You have no idea how smart you are.' _

'_I got into Dartmouth, I must be smart.'_ She said sarcastically. _'It's not like someone __**else**__ filled out my application for me or anything. I did it all by myself.'_

'_It was just a push in the right direction.'_ I whispered into her ear, brushing her hair from her forehead.

She sighed into my chest. _'So, was that our first fight?'_

'_I guess it was.'_ I chuckled into her hair.

'_I kind of liked it.'_ She whispered, barely audibly into my chest.

We both laughed uncontrollably.

'_We are both insane.'_ I laughed, gasping for air.

'_No doubt.'_ She said, crawling up and lightly kissing my lips.

We were both insane. And we both loved it.


	5. Interruptions

**_*I welcome all reviews. Don't be afraid...I don't bite. ;) I would love to know what you think.*_**

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I don't know what I was thinking…letting Bella remain human for another year. Then again, I didn't let Bella _do_ anything. She did whatever the hell she pleased. Of course I could always physically stop her, but that wasn't necessarily fair, was it? Once she was determined to do something, she did it. And really, who was I kidding? I had a hard time saying _'no'_ to her in the first place. One tear, one purse of her lips, one look from under her eyelashes…and I was finished.

Bella had fallen asleep while we lay on the couch and she had fallen asleep with a smile on her face. I lightly traced the curved shape of her lips with my fingertips, causing tiny goose bumps to rise on her cheek. She nuzzled her body closer to mine, shivering a little with our contact. I reached behind the couch and grabbed a blanket to throw over us. I tucked her in, lightly patting the blanket between us to shield her from the cold. She breathed in deeply and her smile faded into a frown.

My cell phone rang loudly and both of us jumped. I sighed and reached into my back pocket.

'_Only Alice could interrupt an occasion like this.'_ I sighed as I flipped the phone open. _'Hi, Alice.'_

'_Dartmouth!?'_ She screamed. Bella's hands flew up to her ears as Alice's screams filled the once quiet living room.

'_I'm so excited, Edward! So excited! You have no idea –'_

'_That's great, Alice. Stop the screaming.' _

'_Oops. Sorry. Are you __**busy**__?'_ She said, insinuating something.

'_No, were not __**busy**__. But we are relaxing…on __**our**__ honeymoon. We can talk about this when we get home.' _

'_Okay, Edward. But tell Bella I'm sooo excited –'_

I slammed the phone shut before she could finish and tossed it over Bella's shoulder towards the fireplace. I wished I would have _accidently_ overthrown it into the fire.

'_So Alice is excited, huh?'_ Bella snickered into my chest.

'_Apparently.'_ I rolled my eyes.

A realization hit me then. No wonder Alice was so excited. She thought she was tagging along with us. There could be no stopping that development now. Like Bella, Alice was just as stubborn and did as she pleased.

Bella was on track with my thoughts_. 'I'm __**sooo**__ excited to live with Alice. See what I'm wearing now?'_ She gestured down to her bath robe. _'Say 'goodbye' to this and 'hello' to designer.'_

'_We are __**not**__ living with Alice.'_ I said a little too loudly. Bella smirked up at me through her lashes, obviously amused by my frustration.

'_I already have a place for us.' _I shrugged. _'Just us.'_ I corrected quickly.

'_Ohhh __realllly__?'_ She pulled back to look at me more clearly, one eyebrow raised up in question. _'And when did this happen?'_

Now I was embarrassed. I didn't really plan on her actually wanting to go. But I always have a Plan B and had bought the place shortly after I sent in her application.

I grimaced and she immediately knew. She slapped my chest.

'_Edward Cullen, you've been keeping secrets from me!'_

'_Mrs. Cullen, secrets is plural. I've been keeping __**a**__ secret from you.'_ I laughed.

'_I figured I'd have the place on standby…just in case.'_ I explained, flashing her favorite crooked smile across my face.

Blush immediately crept up her face and filled her cheeks. I brushed her pink cheeks with the back of my hand, feeling the blood just beneath her skin pulse. I would miss this feeling. The way she set my whole body on fire with just her blush.

'_I guess I forgive you.'_ She said, biting her lower lip as the blush began to sink down her neck and to her barely exposed cleavage.

I moved my hand to trace the blush down her neck and along her collarbone. I moved the bathrobe aside slightly to make room for my lips. Her breath caught in her throat as her hands roamed under my shirt and up my bare chest. I kissed along her collarbone and my hands moved to her thighs, massaging them lightly. My lips moved down, kissing along the top of her breast and down her cleavage as my hands moved up her thighs and under the back of her robe. She moaned as I grabbed her naked skin from behind and pushed her into me. Her hands moved down to the waist of my pajama pants and her fingers pried them slightly apart from my skin. She lightly brushed her fingers inside, touching the tip of my arousal. I groaned into her chest and I pulled the top of her bathrobe down, exposing her breasts.

With a moan, she quickly dipped her whole hand down into my pants and grasped me tightly.

'_Wait.'_ I gasped and she immediately pulled her hand out and held it up like she was under arrest.

'_I'm sorry.'_ She whispered, wide eyed and obviously afraid that she did something wrong.

'_No, it's not you. I don't know why that took me by surprise.'_ I was fighting for air at this point, my chest heaving up and down into her bare chest.

She stared at my chest as it rose into hers. She took the hem of the bottom of my shirt and quickly pulled it over my head. Now both of our bare chests breathed heavily into another.

She moved her hands to the waist of her bathrobe and began to pull at the one string holding it together over her naked body.

I gripped her wrist tightly and shook my head fiercely. She stared back at me disapprovingly.

'_Practice makes perfect, Edward. If we're going to be living with one another, you need to get used to me wanting you.'_

'_I thought I told you to go slowly, Bella.' _

She bit her bottom lip nervously with her reply. _'I just want your body against mine. I wasn't trying to take advantage of you. I just want to feel you __**against**__ me.'_

I took her bottom lip and pulled it gently from underneath her teeth.

'_I've told you before, this bottom lip is driving me __**insane**__.'_ I replaced her teeth with my lips, sucking lightly.

I moved my hands to her waist and swiftly tugged on the string that held my sanity together. At the same time, her hands tugged at the string at my waist, the string that kept both of our sanities intact.

With our bodies pressed together underneath the blanket, neither of us moved. We just breathed against each other. Her toes wiggled against mine as a smirk reached across her face.

'_Are you playing footsy now? Are we twelve years old?'_ I teased.

'_You were playing footsy when you were twelve? Wow, Edward. To think this is my first time playing footsy, and I'm eighteen. Your experience obviously shadows mine.'_ She teased back.

I grabbed her hand at her side and began weaving my fingers in and out of hers.

'_Mmm…you feel good.'_ She said, her eyes flitting closed as she let my hand play with hers.

'_You smell good.'_ I said, deeply inhaling in her hair. _'In a good way.'_ I quickly corrected myself, laughing at my mistake as she laughed with me.

'_This is enough, Edward. Just this. Lying here together.'_

This was perfect for me, of course. But my body would always want more. I wondered if her body was fighting with itself as well.

She looked up at me, once again tracing the darkening shadows beneath my eyes.

'_Is this painful for you? If it is, we can stop. I am so inconsiderate.'_ She scowled at herself.

I put a finger to her lips_. 'I'm fine. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. Well it is, but it isn't.'_ I said, trailing off at that thought.

'_What's more appealing? My blood or my body?'_ She said in all seriousness.

'_Your body.'_ I said a little too quickly. I really need to learn how to filter my thoughts.

'_Mmmm…good.'_ She said with a smile, pressing herself closer to me.

I never thought anything would overcome my thirst. Since the day I was created, my thirst ruled me in most of my daily activities. Carlisle and Esme didn't revolve around their thirst like us _'kids'_ did. Hunting alone was terribly depressing. Hunting with my family, terribly fun. The way we would each compete with one another. Basing the winner not off of how many we could take down, but by the size and rarity of our prey. Hunting around Forks got boring. Deer, maybe a mountain lion here and there. A werewolf came along once in a while, I thought humorously. But that was about it. I caught myself wondering about what kind of prey I could find here and how exciting it would be to hunt here with Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Rosalie was incredibly annoying when she hunted. She wanted to get it over with quickly and scowled at our competitiveness. Of course she would rip into Emmett when he got home, calling him an _'overgrown child'_. Emmett took it with a grin and of course, had Rosalie begging for forgiveness by the end of her outburst.

I never got a thrill out of hunting humans. The short time I separated from Carlisle and his way of life, I fed mostly off of human blood. It was a different hunt with humans. I remember watching some people for days, learning their habits, the places they visited, where they lived. It was sick really. But it would be too easy and boring without that useless preparation.

The first human I attacked, a young woman, maybe nineteen or twenty. She was beautiful. She had a boyfriend. She would walk home from his place alone at night, usually around ten. She would always take a shortcut that took her down a lit park trail and then behind a row of beautiful suburban houses. She lived with a roommate, a roommate that worked the night shift at some run-down bar across town. Her name was Lily. And she had the purest mind I had ever heard at that time. But that didn't stop me. From the moment I smelled Lily, her number was up. She smelled wonderful. Better than the other scum of this city. After luring Lily away from the lit park trail and draining her of life, I retreated to the woods and didn't stop shaking from grief for days. I hated myself from that point on.

Lily wasn't the last person I killed. But from Lily on, I didn't pick humans based on smell. I picked them based on their actions. Their despicable actions and thoughts. It was usually vile men I took down. Rapists, murders, adulterers, thieves… the scum of the world was my meal for years. And it didn't sicken me to do it. It actually made me proud. But their blood was tainted. After a while, their blood began to make me physically ill. The fact that I was ingesting the blood of a murderer began to mess with me psychologically. And eventually, I ran back to Carlisle. And he was waiting, with open arms.

Ever since then, my thirst for humans has been somewhat under control. Of course, their blood smelled more appetizing than a deer's. But the thought of killing another human being, of human blood sloshing around in my drowsy body, the thought made me sick. Until Bella, I hadn't even been tempted to drink from another human. Her blood was the most appealing thing I had ever smelled. If I hadn't had any self control, I would have taken her the day she walked into that Biology class. I would have lured her into the woods after school and drank from her for hours, doing it slowly so I can savor her taste. All I knew was that her name was Isabella Swan, she preferred to be called Bella, and I couldn't hear her mind. But every person in the school seemed to be infatuated with her, and that held my interest in her.

Getting to know Bella Swan saved both of our lives.

My daze was broken as the cell phone across the room began to ring, once again.

'_Damnit, Alice.'_ I growled.

Bella rolled away from me and off of the couch, stumbling across the floor to the phone. She grabbed it and flipped it open.

'_What, Alice?'_ She said harshly as she shuffled sleepily back into my arms.

After a few minutes of Alice's non-stop talking, Bella flipped the phone shut and threw it back in its place by the fireplace.

'_Throw it harder next time.'_ I sighed. _'What did she want?'_

'_Did you know Alice was excited about Dartmouth?'_ She asked sarcastically. _'If you didn't know, there ya go.'_


	6. The Hunt

***Sorry for not updating sooner. I kind of drew a blank after the last chapter. I didn't know where to go from there. And I still don't know where to go from HERE. But I'll try.***

_*Oh...btw...this chapter gets a little steamy :o*_

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I ran through the lush green trees at an inhuman speed, letting my fingertips gently caress the passing branches and leaves. They felt silky against my skin. I closed my eyes and let the cool ocean air fill my lungs. The sun was barely rising over my shoulder and I heard millions of small lives begin to stir. Hunting in the morning was always so exhilarating. To hear animals wake from a night's sleep was breathtaking. The birds ruffled their feathers and began to sing to one another. The smaller mammals' stomachs growled as they uncurled themselves from their slumber. As for the bigger animals, that's what I was listening for. Their waking habits sounded vastly different from the other creatures of the forest. They were louder, their breathing deeper and rougher, their movements more sluggish and harsh. They made it too easy for a being like me to find them. As I darted through the trees, eyes closed and completely alert, all life froze and began again in my passing. They could sense danger. They could smell it, taste it, feel it in their muscles and they immediately reacted to it. Humans are lacking in this area. Another reason why hunting animals is much more fun - they present a challenge. Whereas humans are just so weak and oblivious to their surroundings.

With one sound I Immediately whipped around. My eyes darted open and my nostrils flared, taking in the scent of my prey. I heard the animal stretching, shaking out its fur and begin to slowly move to a small creek to the north for a drink. Deer? No…the feet are creating too much pressure on the forest floor. Wolf from the sound of its quick steady heartbeat and the smell of its musky fur. I began to slow my pace as I neared the creek. I spotted the grey wolf hundreds of feet away from my position, lapping at the cool creek waters. I could easily take it from here, its' back turned from me, as it unknowingly went about its morning routine. I hadn't hunted in weeks, so I decided to make it fun. I leapt into the nearest tree, making no noise as I landed on its thickest branch. The tree swayed slightly from my weight, as if a small ocean breeze came through the forest. The wolf brought its snout up from the water to sniff the air. Its ears darted from side to side, as if trying to listen for something. When it continued drinking, I swung from one branch to the next, and to the next, gently and gracefully, until I landed onto the tree nearest the creature. Hearing nothing, the wolf continued to drink. My throat clenched and my mouth ran dry as I stared at the wolf's pulsing jugular. The blood was so warm, so wet, and freshly pumping through the animal's veins, faster and harder as the animal began to feel rejuvenated from sleep. I crouched on the branch, my hands snapping the bark slightly and a fierce growl left my clenched teeth.

The wolf heard this and immediately darted for the other side of the creek, trying to get back to the safe haven of the covered trees. Too slow. I tackled the creature as it reached the middle of the creek, wrestling it in the water. I let it struggle for a while, as it clawed at my face and chomped towards my neck only to bite through empty air. Enough fun. I sank my teeth into the beast's neck, biting through what felt like warm butter, the blood quickly filling my mouth as the jugular beat hard and fast from our struggle. As the blood gushed into my mouth, the beast became still and my body started to feel extremely warm and lazy as I filled myself with every last drop. I gently tossed the dry, limp animal underneath a near tree and silently thanked it for the meal…and the fun. I stood and examined the damage to my clothing. Not only was I soaking wet from the water, the wolf had clawed the front of my shirt to shreds.

'_Bella will find this amusing'_, I chuckled to myself.

On my trip back, I ran at a slower pace and let the half risen sun warm my cool skin. As I drew nearer to the island house, I could hear the ocean waves gently roll onto the shore. I could hear movement inside of the home – Bella, her heartbeat gentle and soothing to my ears. The sound of home.

I slowly entered the open glass doors and found Bella over the stove, cooking what smelled like eggs and bacon. She gasped as my arms wrapped quickly but softly around her warm waist.

"_Holy! Good God Edward, you scared me!" _

"_Sorry."_ I said, burying my face in her long wavy hair. She smelled like sleep.

"_You just wake up?"_ I asked, spinning her around to face me.

"_**Yesss**__. Not all of us get up at 4 am."_ She scowled. Her eyes widened as she took in my appearance.

"_Why are you so wet?"_ She asked as she pushed back to examine me. _"Did you get in a fight?"_ She smiled up at me, fingering my bare chest through the open tears in my shirt.

"_You should see the other guy."_ I smirked as I pulled her back to me.

"_You should get into some dry clothes."_ She whispered as she traced circles on my back underneath my wet shirt.

"_And you should stop wearing clothes."_ I grinned into her hair, my hands running slowly up and down her hips.

"_That can be arranged."_ She snickered as she kissed my bare chest through the holes in my shirt.

"_Well let's arrange it then."_ I said quietly as I lifted her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling her into a deep kiss.

Her hands reached behind her head as she pulled her tank top off and threw it over my shoulder, her bare chest against me. Her hands returned and wrapped roughly in my hair, pulling my face harder to hers. Her tongue darted in and out of my mouth as mine returned her actions. I backed her onto the counter top behind her and sat her down gently, never breaking our kiss. My hands left her waist and moved up her sides, grazing the side of her bare breasts, feeling the heat of her chest on mine. I tore my already mutilated shirt away from me and it joined hers on the kitchen floor. I felt her hips grind into me and my arousal pulsed against her center. She moaned as she moved her lips to my neck, sucking and nibbling as she unbuttoned my pants. She pushed them down with her feet and pulled me to her, my arousal protruding from my boxers and rubbing against her pajama shorts. She was so warm and wet, even with her shorts on.

I lifted her up slightly and quickly pulled her shorts down as she shook them with her feet to the kitchen floor with the rest of our clothing. My hand went directly to her center and I began to massage her with my thumb, slowly and gently applying pressure. She groaned loudly into my neck, biting down gently. Her hand flew down and grasped me tightly, eliciting a moan from me. Her hand felt so warm and soft as it slowly massaged up and down my length. I pulled her face to mine as I pushed a finger into her, watching her face as she bit her lip and her eyes flitted closed. Her hand pumped harder around me and her grasp tightened as I added another finger, slowly entering in and out of her. Her breathing and heartbeat picked up as I added another finger and softly massaged her breast with my other hand, slowly kissing down her jaw line to her neck. My fingers slid in and out of her quicker and quicker as she grew wetter. Her legs began to tremble and her moans became deeper as her walls clenched and pulsed around my fingers as she climaxed, burying her face into my neck and breathing my name, as she continued to massage my arousal. I throbbed under her hand and her thumb slid over the tip with each pump. She moved her face from my neck to my ear, sucking and nibbling. My legs began to shake as I grew closer. My hands wrapped in her hair as she continued to suck and nibble on my ear and then on my bottom lip. Suddenly she pulled me forward and put me in her, biting down on my bottom lip as a moan escaped from me. I immediately came when I felt her warmth surrounding me. My hands slammed on the counter by her sides as I trembled inside of her, cracking the counter top slightly.

"_Oops."_ I laughed into her hair as she ran her fingers through mine.

"_You broke the kitchen." _ She laughed, playfully frowning and lightly kissing my lips.

"_You burnt your breakfast."_ I said as I nodded towards the burnt eggs and bacon to the left of us.


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